just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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