When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
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you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated