Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
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Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...