is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.