well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
