I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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