The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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