Don't make out with my wife yet
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize