so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
