He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
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I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
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I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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