No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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