I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
