We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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