In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
