sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
