I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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