in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
