everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
