I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
