this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
