i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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