So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
