false alarm. still invincible.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
