no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
