Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
