if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
did you just send me my own nude
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
