I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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