i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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