My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
