Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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