Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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