Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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