k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
