He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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