my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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