pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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