PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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