Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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