cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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