All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize