we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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