you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
