Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
