SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
