Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
