So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
This is the high leading the old right now
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
