You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I want to fling myself into the sun
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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