My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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