you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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