"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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