dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Is it because I queefed?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.