Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
god, I love you
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy