just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?