his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
