I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
