Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
