yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
