I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
