He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
