Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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