it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Thank you for not boning my boss.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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