Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
