sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
