U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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