Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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